7 Jul
Our apologies for the lack of updates (I’m posting this on my own; Becky is with me in spirit) - we had all sorts of pesky things such as lives get in the way, though we’ve been able to collect quite a few ideas and topics that will be featured later on. We’re breaking the conversational format here for this particular post because we have a short and sweet question to ask you (and once again, all replies are welcome):
If this supremely rude and unpleasant situation had happened the other way around, if someone plump had been left out of a “Skinny Girls’ Weekend” (and while we’re at it, if the Fat Acceptance Movement had caught whiff of the fact that someone, somewhere, was actually holding something as ridiculous as a “Skinny Girls’ Weekend”), what would the reaction of the FAM have been like?
Because over here at The Shape of Reason, we think that using weight as a criterion of invitation to outings is just plain absurd. Not to mention the fact that a group of “friends” ostracizing one person based on weight, of all things (what was that they said about “acceptance”?) in order to create a “protective enclave” (yes, our jaws on the floor, too) is moronic, rude and unnecessary. We don’t know about you guys, but we don’t need “protective enclaves” from our friends, and we hope you don’t, either. Thankfully, there are several reasonable comments (not all is lost, folks!), but the fact that the author of the post and quite a few commenters actually go on to defend this absurdity leaves us speechless, so we’re handing over the mic to our readers - what do you think about this?
11 Responses for "A Quick Question"
My mouth dropped open when I read that. Why? Because first of all, I didn’t know that people have “fat girls’ weekend” and it’s possible that there is a “skinny girls’ weekend”. That’s like saying “Let’s have a black girls’ weekend”, or a “white girls’ weekend”. You’re singling out a friend because they don’t fit that qualification. “Oh, you’re this and that. You’re not invited. I hope you understand though; you’re my friend!” That, I find, is fucked up. Then to be told if you weigh less, you’re uninvited? That’s even more fucked up.
No. Friends do not exclude friends because of weight, color, creed, sexual organization…nothing. And I think that that girl who got excluded from the outing in that letter should set her straight. If that doesn’t help, then drop her ass. True friends will include you in everything. True friends will also not revoke your invitation for something as trivial as this.
I know what I’m doing this weekend - I’m throwing an “Asian girls’ weekend” and all my white/black/Hispanic friends are outtt. Furthermore, my Asian friends can only come if their eyes are as squinty as mine, otherwise they’re just not Asian enough to be included in the “protective enclave” I’m trying to create. But you know, all of them are still my friends.
Or not. Aunt Fattie’s defense and attempt to explain K’s mindset is just one example of how warped FAM’s definition of “acceptance” is.
Also, even though this is beside the point, I’m sort of wondering how a beach is going to be a “safe space” for a “fat girls’ weekend” anyway. Rudely excluding your one thin pal isn’t going to protect you from all the other beach-goers in bikinis.
Pretty much. Everyone has body issues, just because someones body issues may appear to be lesser than yours at first glance doesn’t mean that they are. These FAM activists are so self-involved they’ve pretty much ceased to see the world around them. Everyone should cater to their whims and support their fat and if you don’t then you’re probably going to end up in hell alongside murderers, rapists, drug company execs, mothers who formula fed and the people behind Grey’s Anatomy.
All it boils down to is “you can’t do this to us, but we can do it to you and we will. In fact, we’re doing it right now. Don’t like it? Tough, we’re a “minority”. I’m still not clear on how they can justify discriminating against everyone but themselves, but hey whatever works for them because it brings us entertainment.
Fat Acceptance is no stranger to hypocrisies, they always find a rationalizations to justify them. No one is buying them except them.
We discussed this thread over at MFS as well
I’m sorry this is slightly off-topic, but I still can’t stop laughing over the headline of “Ask Aunt Fattie”… If that website ever had a chance of getting taken seriously, that title killed it.
Hi, thanks for linking to Railyard’s guest column on crack acceptance at my blog. He’s written a follow up on some napkins which I plan to put up soon, after deciphering it.
As for the big girls’ weekend, the thing that disturbed me the most was the re-enforcement of the idea that fat people are somehow a victimized minority on par with other marginalized groups. Ugh. You’re playing the victim card a little early there, Harding. Middle class white women like you don’t get to pretend you’re suddenly on par with brown people in the oppression sweepstakes because you’re morbidly obese.
I’ve never been a fan of identity politics anyway. Ohhh, I always have to hang around people with some superficial similarity to me, or I’ll feel unsafe. Please. What a wimpy, provincial way to approach life.
Beyond all this, just the absolute loathing the FA gals have for thin women is on full display in the piece and in those comments. If you call them on it, they deny it, but the truth will slip out a few sentences later. Not all fat people have this, of course, but it’s an integral part of the FA mindset.
**Ugh. You’re playing the victim card a little early there, Harding. Middle class white women like you don’t get to pretend you’re suddenly on par with brown people in the oppression sweepstakes because you’re morbidly obese.**
I agree 1000000% with this statement. Paying for two airplane seats because your ass eclipses the allotted space =/= being tied to a fence and bludgeoned to death in a freezing Wyoming winter or being dragged to death behind a pick-up truck in Texas.
I hate those hypocrite activists. If they would say: I don’t care about living a long and healty life so I stay fat cause I feel ok the way I am, I wouldn’t care. But they spread the idea that it is normal and healty and that is what is wrong!
I all agree with middle class fat women not being a victim, but let’s not forget that fat people get bullied for real and for no other reason. If that’s not true, explain how sitting in a bus make you offensive to someone until he start saying to his friend ‘Hey look how ugly the girl is in seat #’! Why someone completly different kept screaming ‘here comes the fat blond’ each time I got near him?
I start losing weight when people stop making fun of me. Then I was more confident and, it’s a cycle, start losing weight and it made me more and more confident. You don’t really feel like making effort for others when you hate them so I had to wait until I met people I wanted to be beautiful and healty for.
Veronique, losing weight should be done for oneself, not other people. I’m sure that fat people do get bullied, but so do short people, skinny people, tall people, you can see where I’m going with this. It’s not up to us to make you feel good enough about yourself to lose weight and saying that other people need to make you feel good about yourself before you lose weight is taking the responsibility off your shoulders. I don’t agree with this at all.
While I agree that pissing people off is a lot of fun and I love doing it, I would never sacrifice my health to make a point. I’d rather be healthy and happy and be able to give them the snub they deserve when I’ve reached their standard of “beauty” as opposed to sitting there like a sullen spoiled child refusing to do anything until someone validated me.
Oh my god. I just read the article and I was sickened by the reply and a good portion of the comments. Her friend(s) treated her like crap.
And the way Aunt Fattie explained that they wanted a “safe place” … and that they are fully within their rights to discriminate based on size … that is disgusting!
I happen to be part of the underweight crowd and in no way do I hang out with people that are larger to improve my own self-esteem. If my friends - ANY of my friends - treated me like that it would be pretty obvious that they were not really my friends. Um, hello?
Friends are supposed to be friendly. (xD)
Not backstabbing bitches.
/end rant.
At Veronique: I am skinny, and I’ve always been and I get asked a lot whether I eat. People take for granted I’m anorexic. With this I’m saying that everyone can get bullied for one or another reason. It’s just people’s way to feel themselves superior when they actually feel miserable, I’d guess.
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