Alex: Welcome to The Shape of Reason, a ground-breaking… okay, perhaps not ground-breaking, but certainly outspoken and vastly outnumbered little anti-FAM haven. We’re two (curvy! imagine that!) chicks on a mission.

Becky: A mission from God. Nah, I’m kidding, we’re on a mission to inject reason into the hordes of people who soak up every single word of Kate Harding and her renegade band of so-called Shapelings. Our goal is simple: we want to debunk the armchair doctors who claim that diets are bad for you (and cause anorexia) and that fast food is really okay so long as you’re eating it for the right reasons. In fact, there’s a myth floating around now that any food is okay for you if you’re eating it for the right reasons. Radioactive muffins? Munch away, dearies, it won’t hurt you as long as you believe it won’t. And while you’re at it you might want to climb up on your roof and think happy thoughts because you can fly!

If you’re a regular of my other site Internet Police then you’ll be familiar with the format of these posts. The posts here will follow the same format, only Sarai isn’t the other co-host. Rest assured that this doesn’t mean the death of IP, it’ll get updated eventually (it always does), but that’s a tale for another post on a different site. Oh and this blog is powered by Wordpress because I’m too lazy to install Textpattern and convert themes over to it, at least for the time being (beware Alex, dearie).

Alex: Let’s start off by presenting a general outline of what we’re NOT (this is being done solely to cut down the amount of hatemail sure to end up in Becky’s mailbox come tomorrow):

a) supportive of eating disorders
b) haters of fat people
c) racist, homophobic, xenophobic, ultraconservative (etc, etc…)

Becky: Eating disorders are serious diseases and those who suffer from them have our deepest sympathies. Nay, we simply object to people who believe that their way of thinking is absolutely, positively right and that anyone who disagrees is a douchehound (and likely to get their comments deleted because freedom of speech, like acceptance, only applies to a select few people). We believe that acceptance is for everyone and that there is a line between acceptance and personal taste.

Alex: We also object to pseudoscientific “studies” about the inherent “harm” of sticking to a balanced, nutritious diet and getting plenty of exercise.

Becky: Unlike some people, who shall, for the time being, remain nameless, we have actually pulled out our dictionaries and looked up the definition of diet and we’ve decided that diets do in fact work. The diets that we hope FAM activists are referring to shall probably be referred to as fad diets or holy crap is that for reals!?

Alex: We also object to being told what kind of body types we should find attractive, being forced to sit uncomfortably through an expensive flight and being accused of intolerance, prejudice and hate… When really, everything we’re saying isn’t anything more than a list of valid arguments which, it might shock you to discover, are actually wholly supported by this little thing called science.

Becky: Like I said, acceptance to a point. Respect and common decency are something that everyone should have, but beyond that no one has the right to demand anything else like attraction and super special treatment because of one thing.

Alex: We do not support discrimination, hate or inequality, the latter being the reason for our objection to preferential treatment handed out to “people of size” (you hear that, Becky? You & I aren’t “people of size”, ergo, you & I must lack a size. Next time I go shopping, I’ll just ask for those pants in “no size, please”).

Becky: Oh right, the fact that I’m moderately overweight and have breasts the size of my head (my bras double as hats) is completely meaningless. I am not a woman of size, oh woe is me. Shall we go eat some Twinkies and become people of size, or does that only apply if your “genetic set point” is about 300lbs? Speaking of which, if you aren’t 300lbs (and getting larger by the day) then apparently you’re not a “real woman”. Heaven forbid if you’re one of those skinny model types with a boyish figure (then I would assume you’re either a man or alien, they haven’t said which yet).

Keep in mind that “real” only applies if you’re female, if you’re a man then you are not “real” if you are fat. A man is a man is a man no matter what his weight. And men of size beware, the FAM has become more and more geared towards women of size, there’s no room left for today’s average fat man. In fact, a lot of FAM activists see landing a thin man as some sort of victory, for all that preaching about body acceptance they sure aren’t very accepting of people who they don’t find attractive. Oh no, they just demand that everyone else find them attractive and if you don’t, well, you’re an intolerant, prejudiced bigot. Sorry.

Alex: We also support self-love and self-respect, both of which imply that nobody should be chastised if they’ve (GASP) lost weight and (GASP) feel better about themselves.

Becky: Also if you’ve gained a few pounds then it’s no ones business but your own. Their body, their life, their business (and not yours). That’s one of the very few areas where we agree with FAM activists. What we want to talk about here are the former members of the fringe who are now at the forefront of the Fat Acceptance Movement. They enjoy talking about things like “fit and fat” and genetic set points, things that have been disproven by science time and time again (a fact they choose to ignore). They claim to advocate a healthy thing where you eat food and stuff (a diet?) and exercise, but when someone does eat healthy foods and exercises on a regular basis and just so happens to lose weight, all hell breaks loose. Turns out acceptance only applies to you if you’re fat. Sorry, of size.

Alex: The same thing happens when anyone decides to speak up in support of doctors who advocate for a healthy lifestyle, or when people (albeit sometimes sheepishly) admit that they can’t help who they’re attracted to, and the people they’re attracted to just so happen to have the body of Zinedine Zidane (brb, daydreaming…).

To be completely honest, all of this would’ve stayed well within the realm of basic lulz over instant messenger had the FAM not stepped up its game to educate us on who we should find attractive, how we should act in public and what issues we should feel strongly about in the presidential race (fat rights, apparently). Who cares about al-Qaeda, the economy, gay marriage, Israel, natural disaster management and humanitarian crises?

Becky: No matter what they say about not trying to influence the general public into believing that it’s not okay to base attraction on weight (but it’s perfectly acceptable to base attraction on gender) because they’re actually really good people. I’m sure there are some very good people out there, but I’m not attracted to them and I don’t have to be and I won’t be made to feel as though I’m intolerant because of it. Am I intolerant because I wouldn’t date a woman? Am I intolerant because I won’t date someone whose religious views differ greatly from my own (think member of the WBC)? Apparently I am because the underlying message of the FAM is that you must find them attractive.

And apparently they have it far worse than women, black people, atheists and gays have ever had it (in the entire course of human history). Yes that’s right, discrimination everywhere and they’re getting the brunt of it. One has to wonder why the media hasn’t picked up on it yet, after all most of North America is severely overweight by now, they’re the majority. But of course, the media is being silenced by the Evil Worldwide Association of Physicians and, of course, the drug companies. All in an effort to make people feel bad about their bodies.

Alex: So yeah, as you can probably tell, we don’t take kindly to being told what we should THINK - a little too Orwellian for our tastes, you see.

Becky: Think, be attracted to, accept… I don’t care for any of it, really.

Alex: In that same vein, we’d like to open up the floor to comments of all kinds - please, if you have thoughts on this (any kind of thoughts, really, we’re not Kate Harding), share away.

Becky: If everyone agreed with us then it wouldn’t be as fun! Rest assured, unless your comments are disturbing or spammy they won’t be deleted.